The dark side of the earth

At the moment my adoptive country belongs to the dark side of the earth. Even if I live on the south, several hundred kilometres from the Arctic Circle ( where the sun never rise above the horizon in this half of the year and never sets in the next half ), the differences light-wise between summer and winter are truly dramatic. If during the summer months we enjoy countless hours of direct sunlight and we never experience the night ( the only down side : no stars ) in this period at 16:00 is already pitch dark and in the morning before 9:00 the light is so dim. The official sunrise is at 8:47 and the sunset is at 15:27, giving us 6 hours and 40 minutes of daylight ( and it's going to get shorter until the solstice ). So in this period light, or the lack of it, it's something really important to everybody living at these latitudes. Houses and towns start glowing of many white lights, most of them on the windowsill or hanging over the windows or on the front porch. Candles are lit in many gardens and on the tables and sunny days and snow (which brings a great deal of light ) are celebrates with cheers and smiles and gratefulness. This makes me think that today for my American friends is Thanksgiving, the '' giving thanks'' day. What a beautiful tradition my friends. Let me borrow this celebration for a moment . I'm so very grateful for the four seasons we enjoy every year, because each of them makes us appreciate different aspects of the glorious creation we live in. And at the moment I'm especially thankful for the gift of light in all its magical, poetical and joyous aspects.

A sunny snowy day is worth a celebration in this season.

 

My neighbour's garden. Magical.

 

A few of the lights on our windows

First snow

Tonight the magic happened again. The water turned into snow and sugar coated the world. May the miracle of snow bring peace to our lives, as we slow down our pace to wonder, nose up to the sky, if the white falling might really be the feathers of angel's wings, as we used to believe as children....

Have a peaceful and happy sunday dear ones !

Blowin in the wind

Yesterday it has been a very special day for my family. A first time kind of day. My youngest doughter went to her first live concert ( Nightwish in Espoo, Finland). She is only 11, but she has loved Nightwish for some years now. My husband and I have been probably more excited than her and kept texting '' Is she happy ?'' all the time they were gone. At home me and the four siblings left had an evening of junk snacks, pizza and movies waiting for daddy and sister to come back and tell the tale.
They came back around 1:30 am, happy and excited, sporting a new t-shirt and booklet.
Before collapsing in bed my husband checked his e-mail and got a glimpse of the news. Came in bed with a puzzled look '' Something very serious is happening in Paris ''.
This morning I got up earlier than everybody else as usual, but instead of crocheting or drawing I switched on my computer ( breaking my own rule of no computer during the day ). I read about Paris. I read about people going to a concert, to a football match ... and I didn't read but KNEW about families left home, partying and waiting eating pizza to hear the exciting evening of their loved ones. My heart skipped few beats thinking that Paris could have been Espoo, or Rome, where the rest of my family lives. And then came the prayers, and the questions. How can a human being do such things ? What will happen now ?... My family started to wake up, we started talking, grieving the death of our fellow human beings, and then went on with our day. And like most of our days with a deep sense of un-ease I witnessed to the fights, lack of patience, lack of compassion, lack of empathy that happen daily in my family. And I felt guilty. And humbled. I am wondering how a human being can commit such atrocities and all of a sudden I realize that so often we treat even those who we love the most in such bad way. I let anger rule, I feed my greed, I don't show enough care or love for my own family. So it came to my mind my french teacher in high school. She never did any strike or demostration. She was teased for this reason. But she kept saying that her way to protest was doing her job and living her life the best she could. At that time I thought that she was too lazy or afraid and I have fattened the group of the teaser. But today I got a grip of the real meaning of her words. Peace comes from every single peaceful action we do in our days. A better world can come out only if we build it a brick at a time. Love can spread only if WE love and spread the love around. Pointing finger to each other, hating each other, let anger rule ... those are the seeds of evil. To honour the death of yesterday's victims I want to live my life better, love more, be more patient, be mindful and caring.

How many roads must a man walk down

Before you call him a man?

Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail

Before she sleeps in the sand?

Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly

Before they're forever banned?

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,

The answer is blowin' in the wind...

(Bob Dylan) 

Be-Longing

One of my sons love old movies. You know those classic italian movies, those that made the history of italian movie making itself. I've never been a great fan of these kind of things, but now we spend a lot of our evenings just watching one of these black and white productions ( btw many thanks to my brother in law, who sent us few more movies to add to our collection ). Being in a rather emotional mood lately, these movies trigger always all kind of feelings. The word that crosses my mind more often in my thoughts is belonging. Yep. I realized that I long to belong. For many different reasons, for my past experiences, for the path I have followed in my life, I've very often felt the sting of loneliness. And the feeling of being 'scattered'. I try to stretch in every possible direction, doing everything doable in order to find my right cozy spot in this universe and life. And I just came to realize that I have become a real control freak lately. I can forgive others 'mistakes' but I can't forgive mine, because each of them makes me feel like it's just because of it that my longing to belong can't be fullfilled. Anyway, those old movies make me long and cry for those time in which life was simpler. Simpler, not easier, I'm not that naive. Simpler, made of few smaller things but real life interactions. Evening spent with family and friends laughing and talking. Visiting for no reason, without the need of calling in advance or texting. Children and grown ups from different generations sharing life together and creating everlasting bonds. Oh my oh my too much thinking and controlling and longing and ... just need to relax and give up and let be and let flow ...a few pics from this morning frost ...

Busy busy busy

Wow ... such a very very busy weekend ! I have to admit most of this busy-ness it's my own fault, I have so many projects going on and saturday I decided also to bake some goodies for the following days. And ... And James has started to sleep in his own bed ! I can't believe it. We have been co-sleeping since day one and now it feels so strange ... yesterday he has been in his bed until 1:00am who knows how tonight will be ...
And next friday my youngest doughter ( 11 yo ) will go to her first live concert with dad ! Nightwish are playing in Helsinki and she has loved the group since she was six or seven ... time runs away so fast ... I want to finish my huge amount of projects and then I want to start prioritizing better what I decide to do in my life. I want to enjoy my little people more. And here few pics from the weekend ....

Baked goods

 

Crocheting, crocheting, crocheting away ....

 

My boy is growing !!!

Have a happy new week dear friends !!!!

Challenges and priorities

Finally tonight I decided to log on my poor neglected blog. I found two lovely comments by my blog friend from the JARDIN ANGLAIS  (check her blog and web-shop are soo worth ! ) and this made me realize how I missed my blogging and how I should try to be back and more active on here. But as the title of this post says, this is a very challenging moment of my life and it's now time to set my priorities in order to get out from this depressing feeling of being a failure i'm stuck in. I have to say that my fifth child confirmed my feeling that it's much more easier to have children very close in age. My first four were born in 3 years and 10 months, I have heard the sentence ''you have your hands full'' so many time when they were very young. And now I keep hearing how much easier must be for me to have the little one so much younger than the others. Well it is not. When the fab four were small they always played together, wanted to eat, drink, listen and watch the same things, it was so easy for me to have them all happy, of course I was very busy, but knowing they were happy and having fun was the best reward. Now my little one has to share his mom with four siblings that more or less just started to navigate the mysterious teen-age-land. They love him to pieces, they have fun spending some time with him during the day, but they don't see him as the whole person he already is, just like a small funny little thing, and they hardly want to spend their time doing what he loves or letting him get hold of their stuff or watch something suitable to him, that he can understand. So most of the time I find a very sad, sometime quite angry and bored three years old running around looking for a playmate ( which usually it's me ). And yes, homeschooling it's not always easy, and you find yourself doubting ten thousand times a day this choice, but still at the end of each day you decide that you wouldn't really want it any other way. But well, the point of my very long rant is that this is one of the most busy, challenging moments of my life. I can't remember to have ever been so overwhelmed before. So yesterday I read this quote from Elizabeth Gilbert '' sometime you have to give up something you love to do what you want to do most''. So here I am, ready to declutter my life. Not my house. The moment has arrived to decide what to keep and what to give up, at least in this busy moment. My little blog won't be among the things I will be giving up :-) So here I am, with a couple of pics to make you smile ....

Love

 

Fun

 

Togetherness