Late ! Late ! Late !

I know, it's a long overdue post. But I really wanted to post those three pictures from New Year's night. Why ? Well first of all because I like the idea that my blog it's somehow my journal. Then because I really love those picture. But most of all because that night has been beautiful and fun. My older children are most of the time now truly great friends, with whom I can laugh and talk and share all aspects of life ( and yes, sometime they're an handful too ) while my little one is pure joy and curiosity and sweet love ( and yes sometime he's an handful too ). And I love all of them. And I'm very fond also of you my dear readers ;) 

So... Happy 2016 !!!!!!!

Bye bye beautiful

Another year went by. It has been a painful, beautiful, full year, filled with laughs and tears and thoughts. The last year of the third decade of my life. A lot of reflections about who I am, who I was and who I want to be. In this year I tried to come to terms with the fact the the dream I have been chasing for 10 years will not come true. It has been hard, but now I feel like I finally let it go. It belongs to the past. This has left me wandering in my own life somehow. You have a target, a goal. You know what are you aiming to. But when you deliberately close that door you find yourself walking along a very long corridor filled with doors and you're not sure which one you should open ( or want to open ). So I decided that with the beginning of this fourth decade I will go back to square one. My first passions: drawing, writing and taking pictures. Not because I decided to become a writer or a painter or a photographer. Or maybe because I decided to become either a writer AND a painter AND a photographer. Or because I want to lit the flame of passion again. I Know 40 will be a great age: my older children have become such great friends, with whom I love to laugh and talk and learn, and my little one keep me young, letting me see the reality with his pure and joyful eyes, and my age set me free from the stress of pleasing other no matter what. I have the luxury to be myself, no competition with my fellow human beings. I feel so blessed. So what I am doing this year is to sign in for an online class (illustration and mixed media art ), writing few short novels and maybe entering some literary contest for beginners, taking more pictures. AND keeping a written nature journal and journaling more. AND reading a lot of books. Oh and eating healthy and living and vegan as much as possible. It seems that 2016 will be full of interesting things. So bye bye 2015, bye bye beautiful, you've been a good teacher, but now I need to move on. With Love, Flavia.

The last pictures for this year, nature and family and Christmas. So much joy. 

Happy New Year !

First !!!

So here we are on year 2015. Many exciting things are going to happen. My oldest doughter will turn 15 in three short months. 15 !!! Where did the time fly ? My twin boys will be 13 in june, my youngest doughter will be 11 in less then 2 months and my little boy will turn three in june. In 18 days i will turn 39. All of us are about to start a new season in their life and I'm quite curious to find out what future holds for us.
Here some memories from yesterday and today.

I don't know why blogger keep turning this pic, but well, this was my last 2014 lunch, Gaia cooked it for me. She is so sweet and kind with me, I'm not sure I always deserve it ! It was delicious !

  

Me and Jimmy yesterday evening, Do you see my apron ? I was making pizza, as we always have pizza on New year's Eve

Traditional Italian meal of 1st of january, pork meat and lentils .

In general I follow a vegetarian diet but on special days or if someone is cooking for me I eat what I've been offered

Hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmellows (?sp) and Christmas sweet as last holiday treat ( again my doughter made it for both of us, I know I'm a lucky gal :) )

2015 here I am, ready to live you at the fullest !!!!

Every new beginning, is some beginning's end

Here we are once again. One year is ending, a new one is about to begin.
This year has been nothing I could expect. It has been terrible and beautiful and depressing and challenging and finally peaceful. The 2014 began as usual, with purposes and hopes and dreams. Half way during this year I suddently realized that the dream I have been chasing in the last 5 or 6 years simply will not happen. I realized that I had a dream and was so focused and involved in it that i never payed really attention if the rest of my family was following me. Well it turned out that the rest of my family had totally different dreams. That has been a very hard moment for me. I let myself slip in depression and self pity and resentment and anger. I ate myself away gaining even 2 kilos a month ( yes :( ). Then a couple of months ago something just changed in my mind and heart.What does it mean that my dream is notcoming true ? In wich book I read that my way to happiness was only the one I had in mind ? I'm a woman of faith and even if i may seem a bit of a peculiar Christian, I have a deep faith and friendship in Jesus. Would he simply abandon me ? I don't think so. And i realized that a great part of my dreams might as well being fullfilled right here where we are and where my family seems to dwell quite good. And anyways life can change and turn in every moment, so sitting in despair eating sweets wasn't probably the best way to be prepared just in case one day my\our life might turn in the direction I wish. So I decided to take action. I stopped with the junk food and lost 10 kilos in few weeks ( during the holidays I might have gained some kilos back- I didn't checked- but now I'm not afraid of it, because I know I will start eating healthly again in few days because you see, I don't need to fill my heart with calories anymore); I started to get out with my lovely toddler as much as possible and to be as active as possible at home. Sofa-time it's made to be interrupted as many times as my family needs it, moving keeps me in better shape. I'm watching my whole life with totally different eyes and finallt I feel in peace. I feel that there's so much I can do and be happy about. I feel i can have the success I want in what I do, but I need to be doing something to get it ;) So this has been my 2014. What 2015 will hold for me it's up to the Lord, what I have to do and want to do is to roll up my sleeves, work as much as i can, eat healthly, excercise and have fun, have fun and have fun, trust the future, love my family and myself, learn new skills and make new plans. Forgive others and myself, let go of leftover resentment and anger and be free in my new lightened body and heart.

Have a great 2015 everybody,

life is good.