Every new beginning, is some beginning's end

Here we are once again. One year is ending, a new one is about to begin.
This year has been nothing I could expect. It has been terrible and beautiful and depressing and challenging and finally peaceful. The 2014 began as usual, with purposes and hopes and dreams. Half way during this year I suddently realized that the dream I have been chasing in the last 5 or 6 years simply will not happen. I realized that I had a dream and was so focused and involved in it that i never payed really attention if the rest of my family was following me. Well it turned out that the rest of my family had totally different dreams. That has been a very hard moment for me. I let myself slip in depression and self pity and resentment and anger. I ate myself away gaining even 2 kilos a month ( yes :( ). Then a couple of months ago something just changed in my mind and heart.What does it mean that my dream is notcoming true ? In wich book I read that my way to happiness was only the one I had in mind ? I'm a woman of faith and even if i may seem a bit of a peculiar Christian, I have a deep faith and friendship in Jesus. Would he simply abandon me ? I don't think so. And i realized that a great part of my dreams might as well being fullfilled right here where we are and where my family seems to dwell quite good. And anyways life can change and turn in every moment, so sitting in despair eating sweets wasn't probably the best way to be prepared just in case one day my\our life might turn in the direction I wish. So I decided to take action. I stopped with the junk food and lost 10 kilos in few weeks ( during the holidays I might have gained some kilos back- I didn't checked- but now I'm not afraid of it, because I know I will start eating healthly again in few days because you see, I don't need to fill my heart with calories anymore); I started to get out with my lovely toddler as much as possible and to be as active as possible at home. Sofa-time it's made to be interrupted as many times as my family needs it, moving keeps me in better shape. I'm watching my whole life with totally different eyes and finallt I feel in peace. I feel that there's so much I can do and be happy about. I feel i can have the success I want in what I do, but I need to be doing something to get it ;) So this has been my 2014. What 2015 will hold for me it's up to the Lord, what I have to do and want to do is to roll up my sleeves, work as much as i can, eat healthly, excercise and have fun, have fun and have fun, trust the future, love my family and myself, learn new skills and make new plans. Forgive others and myself, let go of leftover resentment and anger and be free in my new lightened body and heart.

Have a great 2015 everybody,

life is good.